We spend a life time pleasing everyone else just to fit in, we should always be our true authentic self and allow others to be theirs. Why be someone else just to please a stranger we meet for a second and may never see in our lives again. They can take us as we are or not bother, I spent far too many years being someone else just to please the unpleasable. So we may as well be ourselves and still not be liked by them, what’s the difference?

There is none! But at least we will attract the right kind of people because when we allow our authentic self to shine through, those who can’t stand us hate us even more and disappear from our lives, and good riddance I say. Women please her man then wonders why he leaves her, because he finds it boring when she’s draped like a towel all over him, fanning him while feeding him grapes on the pedestal she built for him with her hands

Who’s the man here? He wants to feed grapes to his delicate Cleopatra, but she prefers to show him how independent she is, and how funny, loyal loving she is. Then when he says fine, if you’re so independent then carry your own bags, open your own door, pull out your own chair and go make your own money, and I will do all that for this other lady who accepts my help and masculinity. Then we turn green and do even more for him.

When that is the very moment we should pull back. He fancied you, he fell for you, so no other women could steal your man unless you push him into her arms. Even them he would miss you and wonder what you were getting up to without him if you let him go. Because he has history and many good memories with you. But instead we ensure he stays with her by trying every sneaky trick in the book to win him back! He sees right through that, so those games only make us look foolish… so ignore him!

Don’t phone, text, e-mail, follow him on Face Book or tell him you will always be there for him. Just say, you know I love you and I’m sad it’s over but wish you no ill feeling hope you’re happy as we both need to move on.

In that sentence you’ve stated a truth, you still care for him which he already knew, you can show real tears, why hide it or show anger and hatred toward him, traits and emotions that only push him further away.

Be kind, not bitter… because when a women leaves a man because she no longer loves him, it’s his fault, and when a man leaves a women he’s a right bastard for leaving her, that’s his loss, he doesn’t know what he’s missing, he’ll be sorry, when in truth she is the one who is sorry, she is the one left alone, hurting, holding the baby while he is happily living his life.

He may be sorry later if you play your cards right, if you accept not all relationships are meant to work out as we all grow and change over time. Accept you learnt from him and this relationship, be grateful for that, and someone even better will manifest in your life. As everything you want is always just around the next corner. And if that someone is him, he will be back, because you let him go, because you didn’t show up everywhere he went, because you got on with your own life, your own hobbies and dates.

So just be yourself and he or any man will love you for it, because most men spot a woman having fun with her friends across the dance floor. And that is what he falls in love with, her fun loving authentic self, but then he talks to her, and she immediately starts fluttering her eyelashes, being bashful, doing all the talking, taking control. And he still likes her but suddenly he informs her he is not the marrying kind! He was before she spoke. A man loves to chase his conquests, he wants to win his prize, not have it handed on a plate, where’s the challenge in that? Its so boring.

So many women say, he’s under the thumb, he does everything for her and she doesn’t appreciate him. Well let me tell you, he is happy doing everything for her just to keep her. She has some mystery about her, does she really care about him? Would she ever leave him, will she stay faithful? She says she cares, she says she’d never leave, but he had darn well better stay faithful, so he does, as he fears losing her to any other man in town!

But when we are all over our man, staring into his eyes longingly, always touching and caressing him, yes sir no sir, then complain when he does nothing in return. Like how dare he roll over after our sexual encounter, he should lie here hugging me all night. Well he hugged you and showed affection and fore play before your encounter, now it’s time to sleep. Or do you want to be conjoined twins, when even conjoined twins need their space at times. So we often suffocate our man, so he then wants to go out with his mates, or go fishing or golfing alone and just do his own thing.

Just give your man that breathing space, let him leave the room in the heat of an argument to give himself some head space, stop trying to sooth and fix him. Leave him to fix himself and he will bounce back quicker, and he will not only come back but may never want to leave you again.

My motto… I ran away until I caught him!