When I was young, long before I knew anything about the universe… Law of Attraction, I still attracted things through the creation of my dreams. I used to love watching The Goodies and the only person I wanted to marry besides David Bowie, (but knew that would never happen) was Bill Oddie!

Then guess what? I have stayed in his home, I’ve been to his house parties and barbecues. I’ve slept in his bed, went to his mother in law’s funeral, and attended his wedding party! Ok, it wasn’t me he married, but it was close enough. So how did I get there? Well I often wondered that myself!

How did I have a dream then end up where I was, along with his daughter the lovely Kate Hardie, who was only 14 years old, and was making her very first film, Runners. And she asked me if I wanted to go with her and a few friends, to guess where? A David Bowie concert at Wembley Arena.

Now isn’t that ironic, the 2 people I had wanted to marry in my youth had entered my world around the same time, but I never went to watch Bowie with Kate, but the offer was there. So how did I end up in this place as a part of this family? How did I end up living with Willy Woolard’s family?

The Top Gear presenter! How did little me enter such circles? How did I end up in Bills home? Well I met, fell in love with, and moved in with his brother in law, the comedian Martin Beaumont. So I was in awe of, not in love with Bill Oddie and I slept in Bill’s bed and room while staying at his home when he went away on his honeymoon with Martin’s sister Laura.

It is magical how the universe can make our dreams come true, even if they turn out to be a little different than we expected. I was there for a year before Martin who was a magician disappeared and married his next girl friend. And they stayed together for many years and had 2 children.

That may have been me if I had played my magician’s cards right, Bill Oddie could have actually ended up being my brother in law! Incredible!

But sadly it wasn’t to be because I had no self worth, I loved too much and feared losing the men I loved, so my relationships never lasted very long. My childhood mental, physical and sexual abuse made me feel every other women was prettier, sexier and more confident than me, so I lost in love.

So today is a very sad day for me, I feel for Bill’s family especially, yet his passing stirs such nostalgia, and brings back fond memories I had long forgotten, of my youth and time spent there. As well as so much sadness for the people we lose, as life takes us all on our own very different path.

Through love and pain we live and learn, and some friends come along and touch our lives so deeply never to be forgotten. I felt lost in London as it wasn’t a place I felt familiar with, but I loved the people I was with.

But as Martin was slowly drifting away from me, that is when I moved out and got my job with William Woolard’s family, as a nanny to their 3 kids. When we split I ended up coming back where I started, before I entered that world. To my ordinary life, that later turned out to be extraordinary.

And when I came back home to Manchester I did end up going to see David Bowie, at Maine Road, the former stadium of Manchester City Football Club in Moss Side, during his 1990 Sound and Vision tour.

Now David Bowie has gone too, along with so many loved ones in my own family, which makes us realise just how precious and short our life really is. And each loss of the ones we have loved shapes us, shapes our choices in life and our future. Just as our own passing shapes the lives of those we leave behind, when all there is left is photo’s, video’s and fond memories.

But thank the Lord for all those beautiful passing ships in the night, and so much love, light and countless blessings for all those they leave behind.