We are often kind giving people who attract ungrateful people. That is because you are too kind and giving to all others, and never think of your own needs. So in your eyes you and your needs don’t matter, everyone else needs more, so they matter more. And the universe reacts to that inner vibe and brings you more people that don’t appreciate your kindness.

To give so much and gain nothing in return means we have a low self esteem, and feel we aren’t worthy, everyone else is better and deserves more than us, etc, which isn’t true. Self love and care is everything… we are born alone, we die alone, parents, partners, friends, kids leave us eventually, so who is the most important person in your life? Who goes without to help others when our own needs should come first! If we drain ourselves we eventually make ourselves sick then are of no use to anyone.

We are taught… to think of ourself is a greedy act or selfish deed, but we meet a whole world of people who want our help and would drain all our resources to fill their own needs, be it our help, bank account or our soul.

So who are the selfish and greedy ones really? Not you! We can do both, give freely but never want anything from that person in return, if we think, I did all that for them and ask for one favour in return and they won’t help, that anger, sadness or feeling of abandonment is your message to the universe, which can only send the same back. As want or don’t, yes or no is both a wish in the eyes of the universe. So never bother if one person says no, just ask the universe for the help you need and that help, friendship or new partner will be sent through someone else. The friends and partner you are looking for are in this very moment looking for you.

You just need to align your inner world with what you want in life to receive it. But your mind is getting in the way, and your thoughts, belief and feelings are blocking the things you want from appearing in your reality. God does not do tears, hoping, praying and begging, god can only react to those powerful feelings of desperation and send more of the same back to you. As you say I always attract rotten apples, nobody cares.

Partners always leave me, so that has become your belief. And you can only attract good apples if you change that belief, change your mind, vibration and the frequency you offer to the universe, through knowing there are many good, kind genuine people and partners out there in the world, waiting for you to align with them. Know this and your job is done!

So relax in that knowing and enjoy your day then unexpected changes will start to appear on your spiritual path of great expectation. We are so often people pleasers because of our own desperate need to be liked, but we exhaust ourselves, sacrifice our inner peace then are still not liked, often just used, as there is always the narcissists that will cling on for evermore.

For everything they can get and believe me there are plenty around who are willing to sabotage your inner peace, and delight in your suffering as they exert full control and pile on the pressure. So we must learn to say no to the things and people we no longer have the time and energy to do for.

If it’s family taking advantage, unless they are worthy of your time, don’t visit just out of duty. Cut your time spent with them drastically. Join a club, start a new hobby, find the things you want to do for yourself, be happy and tell them sorry you’re you’re busy elsewhere today, and tomorrow and the next day. So I’ll see you when I’ve built up the strength in my deflated self to visit your lazy ass again! What can they really do?

Dislike you when they probably disliked you anyway, not help you or give back, when they never gave anyway? So where’s the loss? It’s on their part not on yours. They never deserved any of your time, energy, kindness or empathy. They just dampened your flame. And while you do everything for them you are not helping them grow spiritually, through caring for their own needs, finding their own strengths, abilities and independence. They need to grow up and stop flogging you like a dead horse. Or at the very least appreciate all your efforts. But most toxic vampires never will.

As we so often spend many years taking care of the ungrateful. Life is far too short, and they will soon find some other sucker who needs to learn this lesson for themselves. We are just a mug for those people, so it is well past our time to learn to say no, just to heal and preserve our own inner peace. God cannot help the exhausted, forever anxious, unhappy soul.

But god is always beside you, waiting for you to treat yourself better, with kindness… love yourself, know you matter, and find your feet, your voice, your truth, your own joy and inner peace. In essence, find the god in you, then the universe can deliver all of your dreams and more. Finally, be you!